There are some who make you better
"Tell me with whom you associate, and I will tell you who you are." —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
In this one:
Who holds up your mirror?
Who surrounds you?
Who makes you better?
Welcome, friend.
STORY
The company we keep
It is said that we learn best through stories.
Listening happens on the listener’s terms. Understanding happens within their context.
That’s the beauty of stories–they meet you where you are. You filter them through your reality at the time, which is why you can read the same book multiple times and uncover new lessons with each pass.
We can learn a lot from those around us if we truly listen. If we pay attention not just to their words, but to the context in which they’re spoken. And sometimes, actions speak more than words ever could.
I had a high school teacher who would say (and I paraphrase because its been over two decades):
“If you don’t have a friend to correct you, then pay an enemy to do so.” —Silvano Borruso
He was one of the wisest people I ever met. I’d bet that most of the hundreds (probably thousands) of students he taught would agree.
At the time, my teenage brain only had my teenage context. Nonetheless, I took it to mean that life is a journey of self-improvement, and since we don’t always recognize our own missteps, we need people around us who will point them out.
Blind spots exist, whether due to ignorance, pride, or simple foolishness. We all make mistakes. We all take wrong turns.
Now, with more experience and a wider lens, I see even more in that statement.
Friendship is an investment that comes with many responsibilities. Among them is the duty to help each other grow. To correct, to challenge, and to keep one another on the right path.
That’s what my teacher was emphasizing: the company we keep directly affects the course we take. And staying on the right course is so critical that if no friend will correct you, then it’s worth paying an enemy to do it.
A harsh truth, but a real one.
It is more valuable in the long run to be set on the right course than to simply feel good around people but headed the wrong way. Yes-men? No, man.
Friendships are an investment. And just like financial investments, different kinds yield different returns. Managing your portfolio wisely makes all the difference.
EXPLAINER
Social capital
If people are an asset in your theoretical ‘life balance sheet’, what’s the corresponding liability? The wrong people.
Investing is about making thoughtful choices that maximize outcomes. It’s about deploying capital i.e. money, time, energy. But what about relationships?
Great relationships improve the quality of our lives. Bad relationships lower it.
The term “social capital" has many definitions, interpretations, and uses. In this article, I’ll be using the term with reference to relationships.
Social capital is the value we hold and gain from relationships—personal and professional. It’s the trust, opportunities, and knowledge that flow through our networks.Just as money compounds when invested wisely, so does social capital.
Our networks require strategic growth, diversification, and maintenance. But unlike financial investments, where we can see clear returns in numbers, the value of a single relationship or a network is often more intangible. That’s until a key moment makes it obvious.
Pruning & rebalancing
Not all relationships remain valuable forever. Some grow stronger, providing ongoing support, insight, and opportunity. Others stagnate or even become harmful, consuming time and energy without meaningful reciprocity.
Relationships carry an opportunity cost and can sometimes be hard to prune thanks to the sunk-cost fallacy.
“Your network is your net worth.” –Porter Gale
Rebalancing your network isn’t about treating people in a transactional way. It’s about ensuring your environment supports your goals and well-being. This means recognizing when a connection is adding value and when it’s weighing you down. It means making space for relationships that align with your growth and letting go of those that no longer serve you.
Long-term returns
An intentionally developed and well-maintained network pays dividends in many ways. Three clear examples of value addition I’ve seen time & time again:
Income opportunities, partnerships, and even investments often come through trusted connections;
Having the right people around you during challenges, whether personal or professional, can make a very big difference through emotional support;
A diverse network broadens your thinking, challenges your assumptions, and helps you navigate complex decisions more effectively.
If relationships are a form of capital, they should be treated with the same care and intentionality as financial investments. That doesn’t mean over-optimizing or calculating every interaction. It means being mindful of the environments we create for ourselves through the people around us.
If you were to audit your relationships today, what would you find?
Good networks reflect growth, mutual support, and value exchange. As such, they should be adjusted with intention, just as you would with any portfolio designed for long-term success.
It's a continuous process, not a one-time event.
NOTES
Someone to believe in
Among high performers, opposites don’t attract. Like seeks like. Not in skill, ability, or knowledge, but in mindset.
High performers expect more from themselves, and they want more for others. They understand the power of this feedback loop. Improvement isn’t a solo pursuit; it’s a shared journey.
They need people, not just as supporters, but as compasses. The right people don’t just push them forward; they help them navigate. Because even the best know that no one is perfect, and learning from others is essential.
They know that growth requires humility. Because the more you know, the more you realize how much more there is to learn. This is why self-improvement is an infinite game. The pursuit of better can never end.
Tim Grover made Michael Jordan better not because he was a better player than MJ was, but because MJ believed he could improve. And he did.
The people who make others better come in many forms: teachers, mentors, bosses, colleagues, trainers, partners, friends, acquaintances. Their impact isn’t measured by how much they know, but by their belief, intention and action.
And that belief is mutual. It is built on trust and respect.
A true master wishes for the student to exceed them.
A true master teaches the student, and learns from them.
A true master is always ready to grow.
Iron sharpens iron.
Adios, amigo
The ones who reflect your potential.
The ones who shape your path.
The ones who push you forward.
Have the best week possible.
AG
If you enjoyed this edition of Unstructured Notes, click the ❤️ button so more people can discover it & feel free to share it with friends!
Reading this piece for the fourth time has me thinking of "value-proofing" oneself. You've described "social capital" as "the trust, opportunities, and knowledge that flow through our networks." Key emphasis is on networking because money comes and goes, and while trust can be great, innovation is at times a stronger form of value exchange.
You also said that high performers need people, not just as supporters, but as compasses. I consistently invest in you because you're relentless about knowledge acquisition and learning through execution. The wisdom contained in this entire newsletter is a testament to that.
It makes your innovations increasingly unique and effective, so being around you accelerates my growth/knowledge, and that loop effect attracts more value and resources for both of us and our shared mission. A win-win-win.